May 26, 2020
The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines:
Rat armies are invading our cities. Fun, sun and guns at the beach for Memorial Day. The name Karen is now officially a racial slur. Oh great, now there is coronavirus ache and Larry King inks five million dollar podcast deal.
All this and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.
Rat armies are here
If the rona’ doesn’t get you, the raging hordes of “roving rat armies” will. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is taking the leap from bacteria and virus oversight to rodent control. As reported last week on The Overnight Underground, with so many humans on lockdown, rats are having a field day, especially in densely packed cities. The CDC is advising American’s to be on the lookout for rodents that are exhibiting unusual or aggressive rodent behavior. Which begs the question, what exactly is unusual behavior for a rat? Bobby Corrigan, an urban rodentologist, told NBC News quote: “So these rats are fighting with one another, now the adults are killing the young in the nest and cannibalizing the pups.” In New Orleans, during the lockdown rodents literally took over Bourbon Street, some even seen carrying giant frozen daiquiris. New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell. No matter what, there’s always one kind of vermin or another perambulating down Bourbon Street
Guns and fun for Memorial day
And what a Memorial Day weekend it was. American’s headed to the beaches for some fun, sun and of course gunfire over the holiday weekend. Myrtle Beach and Daytona Beach both experienced the firearm fun by otherwise mostly law observing citizens. WESH TV 2 reported that six people were shot and wounded near the boardwalk in Daytona Beach. Near Myrtle Beach, two people were killed and five others hurt when gunfire erupted at a Memorial weekend party, according to Fox Carolina. And according to Seven News Chicago, there were ten homicides over the weekend and nearly fifty shot. The moron index was bending the needle over the weekend here in the US of A.
Twitter is apologizing for Trump
Trump has Tweeted in the past about the death of a woman who died in the office of then GOP Representative Joe Scarborough twenty years ago. The AP is reporting that now the husband of that woman, Lori Kaye Klausutis, is demanding that Twitter delete Trump’s tweets that allegedly suggest Scarborough murdered her. In a letter to Twitter's commander in twat, Jack Dorsey, the man said the tworts violate Twitter’s community rules and terms of service. In a response, the Twiddling company said that they were, quote: “deeply sorry about the pain these statements, and the attention they are drawing, are causing the family.” The company stopped short of any censorship or statements generally regarding Trump's Tweets.
Michigan Governor gets a taste of her own medicine
Here’s today’s story regarding glass houses and stone throwers and all that. In the last week or so, the Governor of Michigan and some of the state's citizens have been at odds over the power of the Governor and the lockdown. Even to the point of some armed Michiganders storming the Capitol building in Lansing. Well now it seems that despite Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s push for some of the harshest lock-downs in the US, her family, it seems, feels entitled enough to ignore the rules. Whitmer did recently ease some lockdown restrictions for Memorial Day weekend. She said in a news conference, quote: “if you don’t live in these regions … think long and hard before you take a trip into them. Don’t descend on Traverse City from all regions of the state.” Well, Three days later, according to the Detroit News, a marina owner in the Traverse City area posted on Facebook that the governor’s husband, Marc Mallory, had asked the marina to get their boat in the water before Memorial Day. Now the Governor appears to be all wet.
Woman calls 911 because she sees a black man in the park
Let’s see what else we have in the outrage column for today. Have you heard about the story of the white woman walking her dog without a leash in Central Park when a black man asks her to put the dog on a leash. The woman then goes apoplectic and calls 911. The woman has since issued an apology, had her dog taken from her by animal rescue and placed on leave from her job. Amy Cooper, the dog walking woman in question, told CNN that her life is being destroyed over the video of the incident. Job well done all the way around. You know, that’s the kind of schadenfreude we need, to see some woman’s life destroyed always makes you feel better about your own life. The whole thing is just such a non-story, but it’s getting national attention, because someone is outraged and we demand someone suffer for it. People, mind your own damn business and just treat each other like human beings, or better yet, like a good dog.
There is a new malady striking mask wearers, and it’s name is ‘maskne.’ According to Fox News, maskne is acne that forms under the areas of your face that are covered by a mask. It seems, when you wear a mask, you are essentially sealing in your breath. This creates a moist, humid environment leading to irritation, rashes and acne. It’s kind of like a diaper rash for your face. By tomorrow latest, I want to see everyone applying butt paste to their faces stat.
Covid-19 blackouts could hit cities
The next coronavirus related horse shit we might have to deal with this summer? Why rolling blackouts of course. According to The Daily Beast, yea I know, it’s the Daily Beast. Now that so many people are working from home, air conditioning use may spike during the summer causing strains on the nation's grids from sea to shining sea. Just shove a snow cone down your shorts.
Face mask bikinis are now a thing
A performance artist in LA decided standing out front of a Trader Joe’s wearing a bikini made entirely of face masks was the perfect way to protest the coronavirus lockdown. The Free Press Journal has the eye bleach primed photos if you just have to see them. The face mask wearing ding dong wrote in a Fakebook post that she believes coronavirus is a hoax created to erode freedoms, forcing people to wear masks in public and some other wackadoodle notions. And like with everyone else these days there is outrage over her stunt, with people responding to her Fakebook post of the event over her misuse of personal protective equipment and others calling her a “Karen.” Honestly, when did calling a white woman a “Karen” become an acceptable racial slur? Where’s the outrage over that?
Panty face masks are now a thing.
Maybe “Karen” should have sent a woman in Ukraine an extra face mask or two. The Daily Star reports that a woman in Kiev, when told she would not be waited on at a business unless she was wearing a face mask, proceed to drop her pants, whipped off her undies and put said panties over her punim and of course then proceeded to use them as a face mask. Talk about getting your knickers in a twist.
Larry King still alive
You know Joe Rogan I can understand getting a multi-million dollar contract, but Larry King?! It seems Larry King just inked a five million dollar podcast deal. I’ll bet most people thought he was already dead and anyone under forty, their response would undoubtedly be “Larry who.” According to Variety, The hour-long podcast will feature guests from pop culture, sports, music and comedy. The guy must have pictures of someone or something. Five million bucks? Sources say the name of the new podcast is, The Millionth Question. There is no truth to the rumor that “The Ninth Divorce” was also in the running.